A porn-relation?
What is pornography?
How many of us have not seen any ad, tv show, book where appears explicit or implicit pornography?
We all are divided in 2: The good person and the bad person. Or, how some people may know it, the carnal being and the spiritual being.
When we do something we consider right, we tend to feel good and vice-versa, when one does something wrong it is our nature that makes us feel wrong and bad.
That is why pornography tends to be clandestine or secret.
Pornography leads us to think of sex as if it means nothing.
It is interesting how one of the best parts of a marital relation, the love-making part is misunderstood.
Pornography is all about personal satisfaction, is all about "I don't care about you at all" And that usually happens against women.
It makes watchers think women as an object rather than as a human being. Women are frequently mistreated.
“Thou shalt not commit adultery.”
This is one of the first commandments God gave to humanity. And it is one of the most taken for granted.
Love-making is sacred. It was shown unto Adam and Eve.
It exists since the beginning of this earth. It is not something to be repulsive, or even bad.
God was the created of it! For instance, he is the one who sets the rules of the game.
Is porn beneficial?
Watching pornography releases dopamine, a neurotransmitter that controls the emotional responses in the reward system of the brain.
"Dopamine is related to pleasure and satisfaction. [This] neurotransmitter also plays a part in addiction" (psychologytoday.com)
Pornography can be considered as a drug.
"According to research by the late Alvin Cooper of the Silicon Valley Psychotherapy Center, people engaged in any kind of online sexual activity for less than an hour a week said it had little impact on their lives; people using it for 11 or more hours a week said it affected both their self-image and their feelings about their partners. Anywhere between one and ten hours a week is ambiguous terrain. It may just be a way to release stress, but as Cooper has pointed out, 'the Internet is ... a very powerful force that people can quickly develop a problem with, like crack cocaine.'" Liza Featherstone on PsychologyToday.com
Is this real? Can pornography have a "good part" besides immediate physical satisfaction?
Watching it for a short period of time has as many effects as watching it for a long time. Because IT IS ADDICTIVE.
"When people view pornography, it is done without feelings of love, delight, generosity, consideration, sympathy, and kindness. It is not possible to view pornography and experience emotions of love, delight, generosity, consideration, sympathy, and kindness. The end result is a state of numbness, isolation and loneliness"
Also, some studies have shown that watching pornography is involved in less gray matter volume.
Accumulating anger, resentment, and/or fear are some of the consequences of pornography.
What about when it is involved in my relationship?
The Family: A Proclamation to the World, “God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife"
Watching pornography it is another way of cheating.
ALL ACTIONS ARE PREMEDITATED.
Many times affairs are committed within the mind or heart of a married individual with no other participating party.
A man who can control his mind, can control the world.
Elder Bruce and Marie Hafen (1994) write that Satan would like us to believe that we should abandon our dull routines and seek out dramatic gestures of romance, even if that means looking outside our home. He wants us to believe that life’s petty responsibilities are impeding desire and love. He wants us to believe that every marriage should be like a Shakespearean love story, never asking us to imagine Romeo and Juliet dealing with household clutter, unpaid bills, and crying children.
My advice
You are a son and daughter of God. He created you to have JOY. As a married person, and with my own experience sexual relations with someone you love and with who you will be the rest of your life brings comfort, brings peace, brings joy.
Pornography degrades women and men. We are not objects invented to satisfy someone at his or her own will. We are people, with feelings, emotions. As humans we need to be loved, to feel appreciated. Pornography DOES NOT DO THAT TO ANYONE.
I advise you, if you at some point have watched stop it now. You can find better and less harmful ways of "relieving stress".
Please, do not continue with this habit. You can get help from people around you. I can help you too!
The long-term consequences are harm-full for everyone. Trust me, I know.
It is going to be really difficult for you to have a strong relationship, it is going to be hard for you to trust in others, it is going to be harm-full for your partner, your friends, your co-workers, your family.
"porn" is so destructive, it can destroy your mind, the world around you, your life, your relationship etc...
The worse part is that it not only affects you, but those who you love.
Be aware, these activities harm everyone.
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