Dad, are you INVOLVED in your fatherhood?

"Fathers have a crucial role to play in the cognitive, social, and emotional development of their children. An involved father is one who is engaged, available, and responsible. He is sensitive and supportive, nurturing and affectionate, and comforting and accepting"

Throughout this post I will mention some of the characteristics fathers should have in order to create strong bonds with their children.

As I go through it, I will explain times where my dad gave me a bad example of how a father should be. This, with the only reason to help you, reader, understand the importance of this divine role by a perspective of a child.

1. An involved father is one who is engaged.

The dictionary explains the concept of engaged as occupy, attract, or involve (someone's interest or attention).

If you are engaged in something, you are IN it. Nowhere else. You are focused, paying attention on what you are doing.

My dad was not a really good example of this, while living with my mom and I, he wasn't really THERE. I have no memories of him playing with me.

The only times I remember he was a little engaged was when he was driving and was asking me questions about my mom and my life... not for a really good reason.

Many studies have confirmed that a father’s involvement can have powerful effects on a child’s cognitive development. It begins to become clear in infants as young as 5 months old, who score higher on measures of cognitive development if they have highly involved fathers.[i] (For these purposes, that’s defined as fathers who participate in more play and caregiving activities.)

2. An involved father is one who is available.

Availability. A dad should be available for you 24/7. You should count with him unconditional times. An involved father is one that you can call when sick, stressed or just need to hear him.

I remember my grandpa, he is one of the BEST at being available 24 hours 7 days a week. I remember my mom, being stressed and calling him for help. A good example of this was when me, my dad and my mom used to live in Nicaragua. My parents at that time used to argue a lot, they were planing on getting a divorce, my dad physical abused my mom. She called her dad for help. My grandparents traveled hours in car, without money just to pick up me and my mom, who did not have any chance to "survive" in that situation.

"It’s the quality of the time a father spends with his children that influences their outcomes. The intrinsic quality of the relationship, and not extrinsic factors like expensive dinners and gifts, can alleviate the negative effects on children caused by a divorce or separation."

3. An involved father is one who is responsible.

Responsibility matters if you are planing on being a father.

My dad taught me how not to be in matters of responsibility. He agreed to pay half of my education, my expenses, the food I needed, medical care etc.

He rarely paid for any of those. The Lord really helped us! My mom was unemployed, with a child of 4 years old and a loan she had because of her college studies.

Fathers, by divine decree, you are to preside over your family units. This is a sobering responsibility and the most important one you will ever assume, for it is an eternal responsibility. You place the family in its proper priority. It’s the part of your life that will endure beyond the grave.

“In this Church the man neither walks ahead of his wife nor behind his wife but at her side. They are coequals.”

It is important to recognize that WE NEED emotional, social, and spiritual protection and support. That is one of the roles a father should take.

A protector, a guard, a teacher, a helper, a best friend...

A last warning:

“We warn that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.”